Thursday, August 18, 2011

Hillarious and Sexy Jokes

There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.


"C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks.

She replied, "I will... if you have sex with me."

The guy pukes all over the woman and runs back to his friends.

"You guys would not believe who answered the door. Some really gross old lady!" he tells them. "She said we could have water if I had sex with her."

"Why didn't you then?" asks he second guy.

"Because she was so ugly, I was sick and couldn't do it!"

"Oh, you are such a wuss. I'll go up to the door," the second guy says.

He goes up to the door and rings the bell. The old hag answers.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-waaaaaa......" He uses all of his will power to not hurl.

"Water? Yes, I have water," she says knowingly. "But you have to have sex with me."

"AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"

He runs back to his friends and before he could say a word, the third guy goes to the door and rings the bell.

"What do you want for some water?"

"You have to have sex with me."

Knowing that if he doesn't do something, he and his friends will all die. So he follows the lady into her kitchen.

"Do me here," she told him.

He sees 3 ears of corn on the counter and gets an idea.

"Lay back and close your eyes. And keep them closed!"

The witch lays back and spreads her legs. The guy nearly pukes after seeing this. He picks up an ear of corn and screws her with it. Finally she is finished. He throws the corn out the window.

"Oh, God. That was the best orgasm of my life. If you do that again I will give you a million dollars."

"Then lay back and close your eyes again."

This she does and he does her with the second ear of corn until she is satisfied. Then he throws it out the window. This time she doesn't even open her eyes.

"If you do that again, I will give you a Jeep so you can get out of the desert."

"Eyes closed," he says.

Then he does her with the last piece of corn. He brings her to multiple orgasms.

"Ohhhhhhhhh........ The water, money and Jeep are outside," she says as she squirms in ecstasy.

So he runs like hell outside and grabs the water and money and jumps into the Jeep. He wonders where his friends are and drives around to find them. He finds them by the window.

One of the guys says to him, "Hey, man. I hope you had fun. We just ate the three best pieces of buttered corn you could have imagined!"

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Sardar Ji Ka Eyes Operation

Eyes Operation Ke Baad Doctor Ki Fees Bachane Ke Chakar Mein Sardar Ji Bole

“Doctor Saab Mujhe Kuch Dikh Nahi Raha”

Doctor: “Sardarji Apni Aankhien Band Kar Lijiye Aur Fir Dobara Se Dheere Dheere Kholiye”

Sardar Ji: “Doctor Sahab Mujhe Ab Bhi Kuch Dikhai Nahi De Raha”

Doctor Apni Nurse Ko Sardar Ke Samne Kapde Utarne Ke Liye Kehta Hai

Sardar Ji: “Mujhe Kuch Bhi Nazar Nahi Aa Raha”

Doctor Apni Nurse Ko Taange Kholney Ke Liye Kehta Hai

Sardar Ji: “Doctor Sahab Mujhe Such Mein Kuch Nahi Nazar Aa Raha Hai”

Doctor: “Abey Chutiya Samjha Hai Kya, Kuch Nazar Nahi Aa Raha To To Tera L.und Kaise Khara Ho Raha Hai“

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Susu Karne Ki Jagha Dikha Do

Ek Bar Ek Shadi Mein Ek Ladki Ko Toilet Jana Tha To Usne Paas Khade Sardar Ji Se Pucha: “Sardar Ji Susu Karne Ki Jagha Dikha Do”

Sardar Ji Ne Sharmante Huw Jawab Diya: “You Naughty Girl Pehlay Tum Dikhao Fir Mein Dikhaunga“

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